My daughter has a ballet exam today, maybe just as you are reading this and tonight while she was going to bed there was some definate nerves going on. She was being that jumpy, silly, almost naughty way they act when underneath its all nerves and anxiety.
“you are going to be great” we re-assured her over and over again. Along with lots of ‘just do your best and thats all that matters’ type comments that we know we have to say to our kids so that they don’t feel like they are failing or not doing well.
Thing is..i know that her ballet teacher pushes them and probably does openly praise the kids in the class who get the dance right straight away or have the best pointy toes (or whatever). So there is a bit of tension i would imagine in the mind of a small child when their parents are saying in a floaty fashion ‘just do your best, we will be proud of you, whatever you do’ and then they are hearing their ballet teacher wondering out loud in a ballet lesson ‘SO who will get a distinction and do me proud then girls?’
Im never sure where to pitch it when it comes to this sort of dilemma. I read an article at work today about Louis Smith (the olympic gymnast) and he was saying that his hero was his mum. awwww. Now im guessing as the mother to a young guy who eventually went on to be part of the olympic team and then a medallist..you must have to do a fair amount of pushing…and yes, applying a bit of pressure to do well. Otherwise how to they make it? Is that just the job of the coach or do we, as parents, wade in and start applying the ‘thumb screws’ too, so to speak?
Im not sure. what do you think?
(btw, for the record I have never actually heard the ballet teacher say those words) 😉
I say exactly the same to my daughter for her ballet exams, but she doesn’t seem that bothered either way. Last exam she lost a distinction because she was giggling in the exam. That’s my girl…
We/she is actually pulling out of ballet at the end of term after 5 years of lessons. I fear piano lessons will follow…*buys earplugs*.
I am dreading this exact situation! Miss Tinks is desperate to attend ballet classes and I am hoping that I can be the cool, calm Mum about it all. But I fear that I will be desperate for her to do well so I can live my childhood dream of becoming a dancer vicariously through her! 😉
I feel guilty that my boys don’t do any of these outside school clubs yet, should they be at 3 and a half? I know I will be the mum on the sidelines screaming at them at school but in a good way. Nothing wrong with a little competitiveness combined with love and pride!
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Am just about to embark on the whole ballet thing with my youngest daughters, the thought of exams at her age is terrifying! Adorable pic, btw…
It’s a fine line, isn’t it! I suppose for me it’s trying to get them to work at something even if they aren’t one of the ‘naturals’ at it! You want to build them up but also learn the importance of hard work… If that makes sense!
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I say exactly the same to my daughter for her ballet exams, but she doesn’t seem that bothered either way. Last exam she lost a distinction because she was giggling in the exam. That’s my girl…
We/she is actually pulling out of ballet at the end of term after 5 years of lessons. I fear piano lessons will follow…*buys earplugs*.
I read an interesting interview with Victoria Pendleton who said her mum was very much ‘do your best and there are more things to life too’ kind of person. But her Dad was the slightly more pushy one, so maybe you need one of each? It was refreshing to hear she had a mum like that, as I am not that competitive and definitely wouldn’t be particularly ‘pushy’ but she still got a Gold medal! That said I hope I can get the balance in making sure she’s not lazy and uncommitted……how do you get that balance? Gosh maybe I should start saving for therapy for the poor child now ;).