Gone too soon…

the words that fell like droplets into the water, easy to say, but smashing through the soul and tearing us apart.

She’s gone.

This isn’t a tragedy. A tragedy is something in a film, or a book. A weepy novel that you stay up till 3am to finish sniffing away tears and dabbing at your eyes. Played out by actors who can hold the emotion for the seconds till the curtain falls and then smile and laugh at a job well done.

Not this. This is not that. This is real life…real and horrible and so very cruel. This has been the final curtain call. Robbing the world, a village, a family, a boy.

Stolen.

Injustice we cry. Its not fair we shout into the silence. Such a loss. Frantically trying to understand we fumble around in our awkwardness and blurt out platitudes and empty words when there are none to say.

Nothing at all.

But words, we have to speak, we have to try and make sense of it all. The sadness we all are wearing like over-sized winter coats, swamping us, crushing our chests so we can barely breathe.

Our hearts beat in the silence.

The children laugh.

Shielded from grief by the gift of their innocence.

For now.

We are holding on, white knuckles, gripping the side of the boat. The sea may be calm now but it will rise and fall like a great ocean, spitting out white jets of rage and pain. It will come for us all in different ways.

We have all lost.

Coming together again to say goodbye.  Leaving a trail of tears and travel  as we are drawn together to stand side by side like soldiers left behind.

Sadly united again.

We look to the skies and plead for answers as the great wheels of life roll on, clattering past with  stinging brutality. Like a hit and run driver. Leaving us devastated and broken by the side of the road. How can it go on?

Why does the world not stop when our hearts have?

But still it goes on….

We know, deep in our hearts, in the middle of despair, that it will happen. Life, even for us, will continue. The rawness of these days will dull a little maybe and breathing in and out every day will become less painful. It is there in the future….

A sunrise that might make us smile again, a joke that we might smile at. Warmth that might start to spread through our souls. Joy that might suddenly fill our hearts, surprising us. Reflecting, remembering, smiling.

But for now.

for now…

we are sad.