The day before, the day before came and went with nothing,
presents wrapped
the day after too, passed by in silence.
Candles lit, carols at midnight
The day itself dawned and crawled by, slowly, with festivities and anxiety.
Not today, no..not today. Let this not be the day.
It wasn’t.
I sighed.
Sighed that it wasn’t that day.
Sighed that it wasn’t a day.
Come on that day.
Come on!
pudding and cream eaten, washed with cups of tea.
More days came and went, a whole seven days…
24 hours of waiting..
seven more night times wondering, waiting, niggling…anticipating!
Slowly giving up and settling in for a long haul but then….
surprised….
tossing and turning…
becoming breathing and leaning..
phone calls, decisions, excitement rising…
Twinkling lights.
little ones sleeping…still
Kisses dropped on heads, bags by the door.
Ready to go.
The journey.
little donkey plays, then silent night
short and painful journey.
cursing.
speed bumps.
jingle bells all the way
Breathing
heavily.
rocking.
sitting.
standing.
pain.
rocking around the christmas tree.
momentum disappearing
Heart rate drifting.
People running.
Alarms blaring.
We wish you a merry christmas.
Panic starting to flood my veins. Fear.
My hand held, strong words spoken.
Time to get to work.
Fast.
Game face on.
She arrived. Screaming, full of life.
Indignant.
Here.
Safe.
Our beautiful Christmas baby who arrived on New years Eve.
This post is inspired by one of my favourite writers who I have mentioned before. The fabulous Oldermum.
Also by a happy accident earlier today when i was walking out of the maternity hospital in which i work and i noticed in the corridor a heavily pregnant woman leaning on the wall. She was gently and quietly rocking backwards and forwards while her partner, next to her was on the phone to what was clearly their young son at home. “are you going to go to bed like a good boy now?’ I heard him say. Made me smile a warm, hearty smile and remember my own babies being born.
This little girl of mine was the only one out of five who was late..properly late….and i found it so hard to cope with…we had been expecting her before christmas but she had other plans. She knew what she wanted and when she would show up. A little bit what she is like now really! 😉
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